The Pulse Beneath the Pen
By Lauren Barr, robe enthusiast, aspiring novelist, potato connoisseur & Cummari guest
“It’s profoundly poetic to realize that countless women are searching for meaning at Cummari…”
The setting sun bathes the women I met only days ago in a golden hue as we sit across from each other at the dinner table. This light accentuates their inquisitive faces, passions, and deep desire for connection—qualities passed down from generations of strong women who have forged their paths—a bond many have lost to the modernity of individualism. I soak in their positivity and unbridled ability to crack a topic wide open. It’s profoundly poetic to realize that countless women are searching for meaning at Cummari.
The rhythmic clinking of wine glasses, boisterous laughter, and the sound of pasta being served and shared fill the dining room. A notecard lies upside down on my placemat. It’s my turn. I clear my throat and read the prompt: “What do you feel in your body?”
I answer the question in my head first: My body feels at peace, invigorated by the sea air, the fragrance of orange blossoms unfurling at sunrise, and the steadfast support of women. This all-encompassing grounding stems from the night before, when I shared my soul through the time-altering stories I’d created over the past two years. Finally sharing my world-building with wonder-filled faces. A judgment-free culmination of creative efforts and the audacity to believe I will succeed, settling into my core.
I feel assured that I am meant to be in this moment. My travels, writing, networking, and independence have brought me here. Initially, I believed my arrival in Cummari was by chance, as a friend of a friend introduced me to the retreat. But now, as ideas swirl in my mind—bringing fresh inspiration for my upcoming novels, budding friendships, and potentially a new home—this marks not the start of a journey, but rather an enriched path, creating a bridge between my creative thoughts and my everyday life.
When I share my internal monologue aloud, I can’t help but become emotional. This was the release I’d longed for—a haven to write and be surrounded by inspiring women. We continue around the table, questions unfolding and people peeling back layers that connect every woman’s experience. I feverishly take unwritten notes. I must remember these women, this place, and everything they have given me
As the night concludes, I head back to my room with a glass of wine in hand, put on music, and edit my novel. I escape into fantasy, infusing the attributes of the women I’ve confided in, danced with, and bonded with into my characters, creating a universe built on the divine. I stretched and asked myself the question again, “What do I feel in my body?” The answers easily unfold. My eyes are alert, my ears ring with hope, my stomach is filled with handmade pasta, and my fingers tingle with anticipation. This question will become a mantra, a practice I take with me on my solo travels and into the unwritten chapters of my life.
Lauren in her one of happy places at a market in Sicily with hands full of fabric
~ Thank you Lauren for your words, wit and friendship.
If you are curious about Cummari we invite you to explore our spaces and retreats for women in Sicily.
